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Everyone tells you “should not” worry about how you present yourself and what others will think of you. Not worry about your self-presentation? Nonsense! It is both adaptive and essential that you be concerned about the impressions you make in not only social situations but also in your business. First impressions are what influence others to want to interact with you. This means you need to be aware of it and motivated to make them represent the best of you to your audience.

What can help you create ongoing best impressions?

You need to know and follow the norms for any particular context and the role you occupy in it. They may have different assigned behaviors and expectations. If they are new to you, learn about them ahead of time rather than just assuming you know what to do. Not meeting them is like talking on a cell phone during a funeral which will get you labeled as a “tacky,” “dumb,” or “ignorant.”

You need always to present yourself positively and confidently but with a touch of modesty. While you can disclose and refer to yourself, you need to keep the focus on the other person. You are listening to learn about the other person’s concerns and to find any similarities. Similarities enhance attractiveness. When you are seen as similar in some areas, the other person will assume there are many more areas of positive similarity. Similarities are important for creating rapport.

When you get people to talk about themselves, you can use what they say to tailor your presentation to focus on the perceived values and preferences of the other person. You are looking for areas for connecting and bonding. Remember: Even if the person is putting you to sleep, you need to practice civil attention by appearing involved and attentive. Appearing the least bit inattentive or disinterested in the conversation or topic erases any good feelings you have already created.

Your self-presentation needs to be consistent with your beliefs and attitudes and consistent across situations. It is necessary to share yourself as you are rather than as a chameleon. Taking on the attitudes and beliefs of whoever your audience is at the moment smacks of deception and manipulation. Such behavior immediately squelches trust. Likewise, fabrication of anything in your self-presentation, whether in speaking or in writing, however minor, makes it nearly impossible to recover your trustworthiness.

Your self-presentation helps you define a positive relationship between you and your audience. It enables your public to confidently know you in advance, feel comfortable with you, and know what to expect of you in further interactions.

If you judge others, the entire chemistry of your body changes dramatically. You may start feeling angry or anxious. Your stomach hurts. Your back aches and you don’t understand why. Your vision blurs. Frown lines furrow your brow. You start to feel burdened. You can’t stop thinking about what the other person did to bother you. Chances are that this person isn’t even aware of the effect he or she is having on you. This happens often when someone borrows money from and you don’t know how to say, no. After giving the money to him or her, you can’t stop worrying if this person is going to pay you back. Here you can apply the lesson. Don’t judge. After all, everything is in the past. You already gave the money away. Let it go and enjoy the now.

The present is all you have. Stop judging. Stop judging others and stop judging yourself. Remember, the Universe is perfect and everything happens for a reason. God is teaching great lessons that if you see them in the events, you will grow spiritually. Relax, enjoy, grow and live always in the present. The past is gone, the future doesn’t exist, all you have is the present, enjoy it, don’t waste it. Your preoccupation with the future may be just a figment of your imagination. “No life is so hard that you can’t make it easier by the way you take it.” – Ellen Glasgow

Any time you get stuck in the past, ponder over the wisdom of Helen Keller’s words: “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” When you live in the present, you never suffer for nothing. You are always happy because you know your mission here is to be happy and enjoy every single second of your life. You find God in every breath you take, in the clean smell after a summer rain, in the Good Samaritan who stopped to help change your flat tire. God is everywhere. Never ask, where is God? Be more objective and ask, where is he not?

You will discover that even those who offend you are angels of God. They are messengers of God to teach you to live a better life. You will discover that problems are illusions. Illusions your ego creates to take advantage of your lower levels of energy, that is to say, your lower levels of awareness. God is in you, God is you. God is everywhere. When you feel alone or separated from him, this is by your choice. You have chosen to behave in a way that differs from God’s plans for you. But that’s OK. Don’t feel guilty. Everything is part of the perfect orchestration of the Universe. And when you finally understand the lessons, your only choice or reaction will be to enjoy life fully.

Many people have lost their jobs and the problem with the credit crunch has made it harder for people to get more credit. If you have this problem financially, you may have to ask for some help with your debt. By using negotiation, you may be able to help yourself to get out of this debt problem.

There are lots of ways to negotiate a lower rate for your credit card debt. If your debt has be already been moved to one of the third party collection companies because of lack of payments, it will be easier to negotiate with them. The reason it is easier for you is they have less money to lose, because they probably bought your debt for pennies on the dollar. You will have to call them to explain your problem and once they realize your are willing to pay them something , they will be a bit nicer to you. You may be able to reduce a balance of $3,000 to $1,500 with a lump sum payment. I know $1,500 can be a lot money, but negotiating debt down takes lump sum payments.

The most important thing for you to remember, is to be talking to the person whom is authorized to do this. Make sure of this before starting your negotiation. The first person who answers the phone will not be authorized to make the deal with you. You will have to ask for the manager or the account supervisor. Keep insisting on this no matter what they tell you. If you should strike a deal, ask for the offer in writing and tell them once you receive the offer, you will send them the payment by register mail.

If the above route is too much for you, I have something else. These credit card companies and collection companies will negotiate the fees they charge. Even debt consolidation services will make phone calls to ask for the late fees to be waived. Look at this this way, even if they say no, so what? These companies will waive fees if you just ask them to. Interest rates are lowered if you just ask, sometimes it is just a point or two. That reduced in interest allows you to pay more money to the principle balance instead. You can even ask for you minimum payments to be smaller. Just remember that once you renegotiate something, you have to keep up with whatever deal you made or chances are, it will revert back to a much higher rate and payment.

So lets recap what we have just read. Third party collection companies my be easier to negotiate with, because they bought your debt for pennies on the dollar. When you are trying to strike a deal make sure you are speaking with someone who is authorized to do so. Even if you can not negotiate your debt down, the fees would probably be easier to renegotiate than the balance owed. Once you make a deal, do not break it or everything may revert back to higher rates and fees.